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A Satire That Hits Home

Hats off to American Thinker for this delicious albeit dead accurate bit of satire. Read it and then share it please – email it to five people you know and ask them to do the same!

June 18, 2010

Israel breathes; world condemnation instantaneous

Andrew Pessin

-Satire-

Israel breathed this morning. There was a quick intake of air, and then a gentle exhalation.


World condemnation was instantaneous.


P.A. President Abbas decried the Israeli attempt to commandeer the Middle East air supply, and demanded a prompt return to the 1967 air distribution which Palestinian leaders had previously violently rejected.


Iranian President Ahmadinejad interrupted his weekly call for the destruction of Israel in order to blast the Zionist entity for its blatant oxygen grab and call for its immediate destruction.


Egyptian newspapers detailed the malicious Mossad plot to exhale germs into the air and then spread the poisoned air via high-tech windmills directly into the lungs of Muslim children.
Exiled Hamas leader Khaled Meshal announced that in response to the Israeli aggression, Hamas would not let the Red Cross visit captured soldier Gilad Schalit. When it was pointed out that they hadn’t allowed such visits in the four years prior to Israel’s action, he snorted, “And now you see why!”


Turkey announced it would be withdrawing its ambassador, only to retract that announcement in slight embarrassment when it realized it had already withdrawn him last week, in response to some other Israeli outrage it could no longer quite recall.

The United Nations General Assembly, after meeting for an all-night emergency session, called for another all-night emergency session. And the Security Council demanded an immediate impartial investigation, only to backtrack when it was informed that all its available staff were already tied up in ongoing impartial investigations of other Israeli actions.


Indeed, outrage at Israel’s action was heard around the globe. People everywhere exclaimed that Israel’s aggression was against international law, and then asked for a copy of the newspaper so they could see just what it was, in fact, that Israel had done this time.

Others, more intellectually-inclined, asked for some links on “international law,” curious to find out, at last, just what was this special code which apparently all non-Israelis had secretly agreed upon. And, of course, there were numerous calls for Israel’s leaders to be brought up on charges of ‘war crimes’.


Loudest of these were from regimes as diverse as China, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, and North Korea, which took time off from their busy schedules oppressing Tibetans, Darfur civilians, women and all religious minorities, and their own citizens respectively to make their pronouncements.

In fact, Israel’s action this time was so offensive that Muslim extremists actually paused from their work installing massive explosives in each others’ mosques in order to condemn Israel’s attacks on Muslim civilians.


The criticisms could even be heard within Israel itself. “How can Israel call itself a democracy,” Haaretz asked in an editorial, “while allowing its Jewish citizens to consume 75% of the air?”

Arab-Israeli MKs signed a petition demanding that the Israeli constitution, guaranteeing their right to sit in the Knesset despite their repeated calls for Israel’s destruction, should be dissolved, preferably in favor of something more totalitarian. “On this day I am ashamed to be a Jew,” proclaimed one prominent left-wing leader, a man who had repeatedly urged all peoples to be proud of their ethnic and religious identities, except for Jews.

Israel initially attempted to respond to these criticisms, but quickly realized that speaking would require it once again to inhale and thus draw upon itself further global ire.


And so, Israel stopped breathing altogether.

This action, clearly aimed to destroy the regional economy and destabilize the entire Middle East, triggered instantaneous worldwide condemnation.

Facts The World Forgets

Many of us are currently yelling in frustration as the world media continues to ignore facts when discussing Israel.

Right now the level of sheer hatred against the Jewish nation is frightening. Yet the basic, objective truth remains: Israel has behaved no differently than any other country would in the same situation.

For those of you who are keen to remind people of the facts, and to redress the bias perpetrated in much of the media, here are some great bullet points and also media links courtesy of Neil Lazarus:

Please Upload the following videos and pictures to YouTube.com, Facebook.com
http://www.box.net/shared/ osmxla2tal/1/43740080


And here are some vital  facts:
Reproduced from: Standwithus.com


  • Israel transfers about 15,000 tons of supplies and humanitarian aid every week to the people of Gaza.
  • Lawyers representing the family of Gilad Shalit, the kidnapped Israeli soldier held in isolation, had asked the protestors to take aid for him, they refused.
  • Israel offered the ship to dock in Ashdod port and they would transfer the aid to Gaza. This offer was made again and again – they refused.
  • Israel has said that it will deliver any humanitarian aid that was in the boats to Gaza, as it does daily.
  • Israel left Gaza in hopes of peace in 2005 and in return received more than 10,000 rockets and terrorist attacks. Israel has sought peace and compromise with its neighbors for all of its 62 years and it will continue to do so.
  • Israel maintains a maritime blockade to ensure that weapons are not brought in by Hamas to use in attacks against Israel.
  • In the past, terrorist sympathizers have used aid deliveries to smuggle items like potassium nitrate in sugar sacks and used it to make bombs. Israel cannot afford to let goods get to Hamas unchecked.
  • Five boats were boarded, the protestors complied and they were safely let to shore.
  • One boat – the Mavi Marmara – did not comply. That is the boat where the violence took place.
  • This was meant to provoke – it was funded and organized by a Turkish Islamist organization (IHH) that has links to fundamentalist jihadi groups. The ship was flying under the Turkish flag.
  • Those on board carried out pre-planned violence, armed with knives and metal bars, each soldier being attacked by a mob of a dozen extremists. They threw one soldier off the top deck of the ship.
  • The Israeli government maintains that allowing the illegal flotilla to reach Hamas would have opened a corridor of smuggling of weapons to Gaza and resulting in civilian deaths.
  • Using the Arabic term ‘intifada,’ Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri said “We call on all Arabs and Muslims to rise up in front of Zionist embassies across the whole world.
  • As the flotilla made its way to meet him in Gaza, Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh said this week: “If the ships reach Gaza it is a victory; if they are intercepted, it will be a victory too”.
  • Turkey permitted the Marmara to fly under its flag. Turkey knew that the IHH (Turkish Humanitarian Relief Foundation) had organized the Flotilla, and supports the genocidal terrorist organization Hamas, several Jihadist organizations in Bosina, Syria, Iraq, Libya, and elsewhere, and has ties with Al Qaeda.
  • But Turkey did not prevent the Flotilla from disembarking and attacking Israel’s sovereign right to protect itself from terrorists attempting to enter Gaza.
  • Now Turkey is condemning Israel for the unfortunate casualties, and is leading the charge to condemn Israel at the U.N. It is Turkey that should be condemned by the United Nations for its role in this brutal trap set for Israelis.


  • Hamas is responsible for the suffering of both Palestinians and Israelis. Their racist charter calls for Islamic domination; their stance is unchanged and they repress any Palestinians that try and counter their regime.
  • Any police force in the world would respond to aggression; the provocation is the reason for this regrettable outcome. No country would allow illegal entry of any vessel into their waters without a security check.

Please, help to get these FACTS out there!

Talking Point: Which View Do *YOU* Agree With Here…?

Here’s the thing:

I don’t get it. The media keeps banging on about how ‘honourable’ some delegates at Durban II have been, by walking out of Mad Mahmoud’s speech.

But what in G-d’s name were they doing by providing an audience for him in the first place???

Look, the second your backside meets the seat, and you agree to Mahmoud ‘The Holocaust Is A Lie – I’ll Wipe Israel Off The Map’ Ahmadinejhad, giving a speech on ‘anti racism’, you LOSE any right to the moral high ground.

Would you attend a neo Nazi rally, while assuring friends ‘Oh, but it’s fine – ’cause the minute they say anything offensive, I’ll leave!’?

No, of course you blinking well wouldn’t!

Big deal, so French and British delegates managed to muster enough metal to sidle out the door, when Mahmoud’s Israel bashing got going, in the full glare of the world’s media?¬† What do they want – a medal?

The only nations who can claim to have acted honourably here, are those nations that boycotted Durban II.

They, and they alone, inhabit the moral high ground here.

Your views…?

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